Testing Anxiety is something I have always had to deal with. I first recognized it for what it was when I was in high school. But it was not really bad until I was in college at A&M. With me paying for everything myself and not wanting to disappoint Ray or myself, I put more pressure on myself to do better to maintain a certain average etc. I would wake up before several hours before the alarm would ever go off. I would be nauseated and I also developed my taste for coffee at this time staying up late studying as much as a could. I thought with my graduation from A&M in 2002 that that would all be behind me and I would never have those stressful moments any longer... well I was wrong.
As a teacher of 8th grade student facing the STAAR test next week all of those anxieties have come rushing back! For the last two weeks I wake before the alarm goes off, I do not sleep well, and lets just say there is never enough time in the day to do everything I need to fulfill my multiple roles in life as a teacher, mother, wife, etc. not to mention there is absolutely no alone time at all at this point.
I can honestly say I have done all I can for the students I teach to prepare them for next week. I hope and pray they do well and that my efforts will shine through, but alas it is up to them and the efforts they themselves have put forth that will truly be reflected.
One day I hope that we can move from a high stakes testing environment/culture to one of diagnostics that is used to guide the curriculum and implementation practices of content for student success. I do not believe a test can accurately represent what a student understands or has mastered. I do not care to look at a test score, I would rather see a well rounded student who is a productive member of their community.